I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
love makes seman taste better
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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