Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
