This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
