He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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