so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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