Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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