Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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