We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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