Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
