Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
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His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
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Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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