I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
