It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
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While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
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if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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