We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
