Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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