Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
