I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
