Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
