Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
