So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
