nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Randomize
