i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
