pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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