The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
she pinky promised me she was 18
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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