vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
