If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
