I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
