Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You can't just leave with hair like that
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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