Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
