thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
