All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
