Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
