what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
