she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
