ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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