You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
