Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I supernannyed him into submission
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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