He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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