Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
