Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
