It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i think im in europe. pls send help
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
