why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
