He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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