Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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