I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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