I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
