I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the day after is always just damage control
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
