pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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