Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
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