Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
