problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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