omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize