it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
