my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
