with your own penis?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
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YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
