thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
