I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
