She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
a search helicopter?!
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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